(Clicking confirms loyalty)
LENIN IS WATCHING
|
OFFICIAL STATE PORTALWelcome comrade to the only website. You do not need Google. Google finds you. Here, you find Truth. Current Time: 1955 (Forever)
AUDIO CHANNELS (INITIALIZING...):
|
MOSCOW - Top scientists at the People's Institute of Fabric have concluded that Western denim restricts the flow of glory to the kneecaps.
"When you wear jeans, you cannot squat effectively," said Dr. Ivan Ivanovich. "If you cannot squat, how will you pick the beet?"
The study suggests wearing canvas sacks instead. Sacks are loose. Sacks are warm. Sacks fit everyone.
The town of Omsk has democratically elected "Boris the Brown," a 900lb grizzly bear, as the new Mayor of Infrastructure.
Boris promises to eat anyone who double-parks their Lada. His approval rating is 112%.
"He creates jobs," says local citizen. "Mostly jobs repairing the doors he smashed."
TODAY: COLD
TOMORROW: VERY COLD
NEXT WEEK: WHY DO YOU ASK? ARE YOU A SPY?
Intelligence reports suggest capitalist spies do not understand our roundabout intersections. They keep turning left looking for McDonald's.
There is no McDonald's. Only Potato-Donald's. We serve:
CLICK HERE TO PLOW
(Verification required: Must own land)
DID YOU SMILE TODAY?
Below is a picture of American Capitalism:
(Image could not afford to load)
KEEP SCROLLING...
STILL NOTHING...
YOU ARE VERY DEDICATED...